Dining out is considered a communal thing. You go to a restaurant for celebrations, catch-ups with friends, and to mark the end of a long work week. We break bread together, toast each other, and talk about our lives over a meal. But when it comes to eating out alone, many people view it as strange.
But I love taking myself out to eat. To me, it’s not any different than treating myself to an ice cream cone, enjoying a drink at the bar while reading a book, or gifting myself the shoes I’ve been eyeing—although it might feel different.
Solo dining is often reserved for quick, fast-casual lunches during the workday where we can occupy ourselves by scrolling through our phones. It’s acceptable at the airport and when you’re traveling solo more so than going to a full-service restaurant in your hometown alone, which for some can feel a little weird and unnatural. But it shouldn’t. And depending on who you would otherwise be dining with, it can even be better. Without distractions like tablemates and phones—which I’d argue should not be out while eating—we’re left to meditate while waiting for our food to arrive.
Our culture also reinforces narratives about what’s “normal.” In a Sex In The City episode, Miranda, worried about being alone, chokes on her takeout alone in her apartment. It wasn’t in public, but it reiterates cultural norms: being alone is bad. So when we go out to eat alone we feel judgment, maybe even shame.
The Joys of Eating Alone
Don’t get me wrong—I love sharing a meal with friends and family. But going out to eat alone offers other benefits. It allows you to be present and focus on what’s going on around you. It can also be somewhat therapeutic.
A few summers ago, when I first moved to New York City before starting grad school, I would dine out alone as a way to explore the city. I’d pick a restaurant in a neighborhood I had yet to visit and make a day of it. But over the years, my solo dinners have mostly consisted of quick takeout meals and whatever odds and ends I can throw together for sustenance. I haven’t made time for leisurely meals for myself.
Until one Friday night when I didn’t have plans. My friends were all busy, but I really wanted to get out of my apartment. I was also hungry. There was a restaurant I had been wanting to try, so I figured, why not? Why should a good meal be reserved for a group of people when I can just go myself?
I secured a seat at the bar, the ideal spot for a solo diner. I ordered my food, sipped on a martini, and every time I felt awkward, unsure what to do with my hands, I tried to refrain from grabbing my phone. It was one of the best meals I’ve had. It reinforced how important it is to take time and do something for yourself.
More People Are Embracing the Solo Dining Mentality
Solo dining is starting to catch on. Stories from Vox and The New York Times to CNN have touted the wonders of solo dining. A 2015 OpenTable study showed that reservations for one person rose by 62 percent over a two-year period.
In 2024, Avant Garden, a vegan restaurant in New York City, altered their space and menu to better accommodate solo diners. They now have a $65 four-course menu intended for one person, plus a large table used only for solo diners. And when a solo customer orders a drink, the bartender mixes it table-side with them to make it special.
Owner Drew Brady has 11 vegan restaurants and thinks of catering to solo diners as a smart business move. “While there may be a short-term loss there, I think we’re kind of playing the long game and establishing ourselves as a place that’s truly special,” he told ABC News.
Around the world, doing things solo has caught on much earlier. In Japan in the 1990s, the ramen chain Ichiran launched its solo-dining stalls to help customers focus on tasting their food. Now, there are Ichiran locations around the world. Over the past few decades, doing things solo, whether drinking or dining, has become part of Japanese culture. But it wasn’t always this way: According to the BBC, the rise of solo culture in Japan, also known as ohitorisama, is linked to the increase of one-person households.
There’s joy in doing something for yourself. Even if eating out isn’t your thing, you can still treat yourself to something you do enjoy. Just put your phone away and savor it for yourself.
