If you reach the point in your relationship where you feel the need to anonymously ask complete strangers for advice, you might want to reconsider that relationship, or at least consult a therapist.
Over on Reddit, users are telling a guy in an “Am I the Asshole” thread that it’s probably time to get off the platform and just…reevaluate his relationship.
In a recent post, a 39-year-old man admits that he has been locking his girlfriend out of the basement so he can enjoy his dinner “in peace” every night after struggling with her constant complaining during meal time.
“During the time that I have lived with my girlfriend, I’ve become very used to the fact that she really seems to de-stress by complaining,” he explains in the thread. “Much of this complaining is about other people in her life, such as her mother and her former co-workers, but much of this complaining is about me and how I’m not meeting her expectations in one way or another.”
While she’s typically asleep while he eats breakfast and he’s at work during lunch, she takes dinner as an opportunity to unleash all her complaints.
“I’m generally fine listening to her rant and will make all the appropriate motions to show that I’m listening, but a few months back, her complaining increased significantly in frequency,” he said. “I expressed this to her a few months back. I put it as nicely as possible, with the excuse that I don’t do well with talking during meal time. If anything it has had the opposite effect.”
After not truly hearing his perspective, the Reddit user decided to take matters into his own hands and started locking her out.
“I’ve taken to doing this for every day since, and she’ll bang on the door at times. At other times she has demanded I give her a key, as I have the only copy,” he added. “Today she was literally crying and begging me to eat dinner at the table, but I said no.”
But, despite the fact that he was worried about his own behavior (hence the “am I the asshole?” inquiry), fans were quick to label his girlfriend the actual problem.
“This is so toxic… Please, end this ASAP…,” one Redditer responded. “He does realize that most women DON’T do this shit and it’s not normal in any way,” another said.
“Imagine living like this together?! I totally understand people complaining as a way to relieve stress, but that’s when their partner is willing and never at mealtime,” a third person wrote. “During the meal, it’s disrespectful on several levels, and she’s even aggressive if he doesn’t respond when she wants, the way she wants… He should have ended this and kicked her out…”
Others rightfully said it’s “not a loving relationship” and called her “miserable.” Several more said it’s “emotional abuse.”
Instead of locking her out of the basement, he might just want to lock her out of the house…period (after respectfully communicating a break up, of course).
