Hosting around the holidays can be an exhausting experience even when everything goes to plan. However, imagine this: you do all the cooking, cleaning, and prep work—then host a lovely party where everyone has a great time—just for your guests to “steal” all the leftovers that you spent hours preparing.
One woman shared her own experience with “greedy” Thanksgiving guests in which they did exactly this. Despite slaving over the stove to make two turkeys, a ham, 20 pounds of mashed potatoes, two pans of dressing, and a sweet potato casserole, she woke up to an empty fridge on Friday morning. And now, she wants to cancel Christmas because of it.
“[Am I the asshole] for not wanting to host Christmas after the family stole all the Thanksgiving leftovers?” she wrote on Reddit. She says her husband invited guest to “help yourself to some leftovers,” but then she lost track of what was happening in the kitchen, only noticing after everyone was gone that “the food on the island and the table was put away.” Happily, she went to bed.
“The next morning I woke up starving, dreaming of turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy,” she continues. “I opened the fridge and stood there in shock—it was empty except for a bag of turkey wings and half a bag of dressing,” she wrote on the social media platform. “I thought there had to be some mistake and went to check the fridge in the garage. Nothing there….I sat in shock, trying to comprehend what had happened to all of that food.”
She goes on to say that when she asked her husband whether he offered the leftovers to their relative’s charity organization, he informed her that he saw another guest leaving with an entire unopened dessert her in-laws brought, as well as gallon ziplock bags of food. “Did I mention I had made 20 pounds of mashed potatoes,” she wrote.
“It was a pleasure to make a meal for us to share together and I welcomed a reasonable amount of leftovers, but to literally rob your host and take everything is out of bounds in my book,” the original poster continued. “Now I don’t want to host Christmas because of this greedy behavior. ”
Users were quick to chime in with support. “Do not host Christmas,” one person said. Just say, ‘Sorry, we spent so much on Thanksgiving and when everyone took all the leftovers, leaving us with nothing, I had to go out and buy food for us, which used up my food budget for the month. Merry Christmas.'”
Others agreed: “No reason to host entitled & greedy folks,” one poster chimed in. “Now that’s just bad behavior,” another said.
We took this question to national etiquette expert and owner of The Protocol School of Texas, Diane Gottsman, who agrees the host is most definitely *not* the asshole in this situation.
“The proper etiquette for taking leftovers is: you take a reasonable amount, but leave some for the host,” she tells Delish. “You don’t wipe them out unless the host specifically asked to ‘please take as much as you would like because we are leaving on a trip and we don’t want it to go to waste.'”
“This sounds like a case of gluttony as opposed to holiday goodwill,” Gottsman adds.
While she acknowledges that the host has every right to be irritated, instead of canceling Christmas altogether, Gottsman recommends making it clear that there was “some confusion” at Thanksgiving.
“She can even mention that the food was completely gone, and she did not have any for herself the next day,” she says. “Just keep the tone of voice upbeat. ‘I’m friendly. You are welcome to take a reasonable amount, but please leave some for us to enjoy.'”
Megan Schaltegger is an NYC-based writer. She loves strong coffee, eating her way through the Manhattan food scene, and her dog, Murray. She promises not to talk about herself in third person IRL.
